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Entries from March 2008

naked dutch painter

March 30th, 2008 · No Comments

I don’t know how to use this energy, this bareness of soul. This past week I dug a tunnel to a part of my heart I had never known before, and now I don’t know how not to think of its vast, quiet spaces, it’s peaceful, creative calm. Words fly around the disordered space of [...]

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Saturday

March 29th, 2008 · No Comments

Today is a castle, and I am looking down from the topmost room of the topmost tower at the endlessness of everything below. Today is the only day on earth.
Sometimes the randomness of everything around you coalesces into such a forceful logic that your mind’s insistence on the prevalence of coincidence becomes weary and inadequate. [...]

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“dear Goethe”

March 29th, 2008 · No Comments

The world is vast and densely populated, but my reality, spinning amid the vast strangeness, is populated by a handful — those I love, and those whose lives exist in a resonant frequency that catches mine and alters the trajectory of my orbit.
Goethe to his son: “You must always remind yourself that your aim is [...]

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love like that

March 28th, 2008 · No Comments

This morning I woke up and the house was not a whizzing brain, but a cloud, floating peacefully above everything, gaining speed with the sun. And I was sitting on the top floor, dangling me feet off the edge and laughing at how absurdly small and beautiful everything looked. When I looked up, the moon [...]

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and then

March 26th, 2008 · No Comments

And then I think what if this house isn’t a house at all? What if this is the internal space of someone else’s mind, with ideas, memories, and emotions gathered about in toppling piles, dreams sliding off the walls, the glue that held them there having decayed, and the furniture transmitting messages through people, from [...]

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Way of life

March 24th, 2008 · No Comments

Turbulence of the heart, set off by the slightest insecurity of emotion — it seems to be the most potent of creative forces. I remember when the slightest color of uncertainty would set my mind spinning through fear and dread and exhilaration and hope. And there I would sit, explaining to my real companion in [...]

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one minus one

March 24th, 2008 · No Comments

This voice startled me. The house is dark, the fire almost extinguished. This voice startled me.
“You know that I do not believe in God. I do not care much about the mysteries of the universe, unless they come to me in words, or in music maybe, or in a set of colors, and [...]

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revelations

March 23rd, 2008 · No Comments

“…faith is a stranger, an exile on the earth and doesn’t know for certain about anything. Faith is homesickness. Faith is a lump in the throat. Faith is less a position on than a movement towards — less a sure thing than a hunch. Faith is waiting. Faith is journeying through space and [...]

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who is John Galt?

March 19th, 2008 · No Comments

I find that I am always almost good. almost moral, almost honest. And sometimes I find that these things interfere with each other. That my good thoughts will betray me and lead me to awful actions, and the hopes and desires I so prize will, in the joint chief’s meeting in my brain, [...]

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prayer

March 11th, 2008 · No Comments

If I do pray, if this can be called a prayer, then it is a prayer to nothing supernatural or divine, but a prayer to you. I pray that I find the foolishness to believe my heart. I pray that I do not fall again like I have fallen before. In some parallel universe, where [...]

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